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[转贴] 无责任转贴:101 个打光棍的理由 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-11-9 00:46:50 |只看该作者 |正序浏览
本帖最后由 t4k7d2vx 于 2011-11-9 01:03 编辑





1. Everything in your house is yours.

2. You don't have to hide gifts, receipts, and other purchase records in ridiculous places.

3. If you buy something "yummy", you don't have to buy twice as much.

4. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss.

5. Your late nights are all yours.

6. Less stuff to move when you do move

7. One bedroom apartments feel more spacious with only one person

8. You never have to ask for permission to orgasm.

9. Only the doctor can tell you what to eat

10. You decide what to shave and when

11. Valentines day costs less

12. No anniversaries to remember

13. No extra birthdays to remember

14. No extra family to shop for during the holidays

15. No irritating in-laws to deal with

16. You can walk around naked whenever you want.

17. Only your sense of decency has any say about where you leave your dirty clothes.

18. You don't have to share

19. You don't have to change your life because someone else has jealousy issues.

20. The only insecurities you have to deal with are your own.

21. Getting that out-of-state job doesn't hinge on what someone else wants or thinks.

22. The only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.

23. You can fall asleep anywhere without getting any guff for it in the morning.

24. You don't have to use the "headache" excuse anymore.

25. You don't have to worry as much about the "oops, I'm pregnant" factor.

26. The only person who goes through your stuff is you.

27. The only person who sees your inbox is you.

28. More time to spend with friends.

29. You don't have to live with someone who can't stand your parents.

30. If you want to go for pizza at 3am, no one stops you or asks you why.

31. You can date more freely.

32. The cute secretary is fair game.

33. The whole wedding mess? Yeah, none of that to deal with.

34. You don't have to share your closet with anyone else.

35. You always get to watch what you want.

36. You always get to read what you want.

37. You decide when to crawl into bed.

38. You can throw yourself into bed and snore without dire consequences.

39. No one else's annoying (or disgusting) habits to deal with at home.

40. The only fetishes you have to deal with are your own.

41. You can talk to yourself without people saying "what?" or worrying about your sanity.

42. There are religious benefits, if you're into that kind of thing.

43. Single people can still adopt, if you're into that kind of thing.

44. The only annoying friends you have to deal with are your own.

45. You don't ever have to wonder if you really love the person you live with.

46. There's only one way to do things- your way.

47. You are the master of the thermostat.

48. The only messes you have to clean up are your own.

49. The only disasters you have to fix are your own.

50. If an argument starts, you can walk away... forever.

51. You don't have to make excuses for yourself.

52. The whole "old maid" thing is so last century.

53. Dinner can be as simple as a frozen burrito.

54. When you eat, you buy and cook for one.

55. No one else is going to eat your leftovers.

56. No one else is going to raid your stash of sweets (you don't even have to hide it!)

57. You don't have to share your bed with anyone.

58. You can even eat in bed if you want to.

59. You can decorate the entire house according to your taste.

60. The only person spending your money is you.

61. Three words: Marriage Tax Penalty.

62. The only debts you have to pay off are your own.

63. Kids with single parents can get more financial aid.

64. Bickering couples are at best a relieving reminder and at worst hilarious.

65. Less pressure about body weight.

66. Married people are fatter on average anyway.

67. Suddenly, it's okay to look (and flirt).

68. It's easier to focus on your career and your dreams.

69. You're the only person who gets to decide if you "need to make more money."

70. The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own.

71. There are a lot of lonely and violently psychopathic people out there.

72. You don't have to change your religious beliefs one bit.

73. There are 6.5 Billion other fish in the sea. That's 6,500 x 1 million. Yeah.

74. Porn is cheaper, easier, and comes in more varieties.

75. The toilet seat only moves when you move it.

76. Cohabitation is legal, fun, and less of a hassle than marriage.

77. You don't have to deal with someone else's kids all the time.

78. Divorce is pricey.

79. You don't have to deal with "compliment fishing."

80. Fewer minutes spent with a phone attached to your ear.

81. No endless nagging.

82. You never have to answer the phone "right now!"

83. You can drink what you want, where you want, and as much as you want.

84. No doubts or worries about someone sleeping around.

85. Things stay where you put them.

86. You can meditate and have your quiet time when you need it.

87. The only thing whining about not being fed is your cat.

88. You can take out the trash when you feel like it.

89. You can shower or bathe when you want, as often as you want, for as long as you want.

90. You can even leave the door open when you shower.

91. The longer you wait, the better you know yourself, instead of someone else.

92. Children learn how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself.

93. A bad relationship is like a lingering knife wound- it continues to ruin your whole day.

94. You can be as eccentric as you want.

95. Your car can be as dirty or unusual or artistic as you want.

96. You decide how long it takes to get ready.

97. Say goodbye to heartache, dumping, and being dumped.

98. You get your weekends for you and your projects.

99. You can be the wild friend with all the really juicy stories.

100. You can still get laid. Maybe even more often. Certainly with more variety.

101. Being single and staying single isn't selfish. It should be seen as putting your happiness first (Where it should be.)





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10#
发表于 2011-11-9 13:56:18 |只看该作者
这是何苦呢。。{:0000:}

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ღ东方青帝·灵威仰ღ
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9#
发表于 2011-11-9 13:17:28 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 灵溪 于 2011-11-9 16:36 编辑

{:0000:}于是闲到无聊(喂其实你有很多事情没做吧)的咱是来客串翻译君的。。。渣渣翻译,有错误的请无视掉
=================================================
1.作为一条光棍,你家里所有的东西都是你的
2.你绝对没有把你的收据、电脑小票和收到的礼物什么的藏在各种神奇的小角落的必要
3.买到好吃的东西不必再买一份
4.在这世上只有在一个人面前需要注意形象——你的老板(基,真基。。。)
5.深夜时间是属于你自己的
6.搬家的时候可以少搬很多东西
7.单人卧室总是给人很宽敞的感觉,多装13啊
8.在XXOO的时候……{:20:}喂,自己机翻去,这个翻起来太内个啥了
9.只有医生能强迫你必须吃什么不能吃什么
10.你的胡渣你做主
11.情人节不用花钱
12.该死的纪念日什么的都退散了
13.不用多记一个生日
14.节假日的时候不用多为一个家庭的礼物买单
15.绝对不会有令人抓狂的姻亲
16.你可以随时在家里裸奔
17.只有你自己偶尔有的那点微微小洁癖会提醒你乱丢脏衣服是不对的
18.你不需要承担更多
19.你不需要因为有人嫉妒了吃飞醋了而改变自己的生活方式
20.你不会为了别人而疑神疑鬼神经兮兮


{:2:}上课去。。。回来如果咱还有兴致就继续翻
========================================
{:30:} 本小姐回来了~不过没兴趣翻了。。。因为不无聊了,嗯嗯~~~

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8#
发表于 2011-11-9 11:49:39 |只看该作者
请LZ翻译翻译

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天邈汉化组翻译【中级】
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7#
发表于 2011-11-9 10:47:06 |只看该作者
回复 snowhell 的帖子

参照第100条{:22:}            

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6#
发表于 2011-11-9 09:50:31 |只看该作者
snowhell 发表于 2011-11-9 00:56
1个不打光棍的理由就秒了LZ所有。
Free Sex And Warm Bad

74. Porn is cheaper, easier, and comes in more varieties.这条就已经把你那条秒了

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5#
发表于 2011-11-9 06:56:25 |只看该作者
啥鸟语,看8懂~  {:26:}

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地板
发表于 2011-11-9 06:08:18 |只看该作者
就算再列出第102-200条理由,我还是喜欢女孩柔软的头发和嘴唇还有光滑的皮肤

10个基友也不换一个GF
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

f0URth & f1ftEENth

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板凳
发表于 2011-11-9 00:56:39 |只看该作者
不错的东西,的确有道理,11.11.11应该好好庆祝,虽然我不是单身。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

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沙发
发表于 2011-11-9 00:56:06 |只看该作者
1个不打光棍的理由就秒了LZ所有。
Free Sex And Warm Bad
已有 2 人评分人气 收起 理由
dp_best + 2 Free? Doubt id.
tomcatf-14 + 1 有力的真秒杀

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